You Know You're Obsessed with Artemis Fowl when
by Holly Marie Fowl
Summary: The title says it all. I want to see how many other people this applies to. Not any specific shipping.
1. Stay Back Human

**A/N: This is random!! Okay, if you have any more, please let me know. By reviewing. PLEASE review!! **

**You know you're obsessed/addicted to Artemis Fowl when. . .**

You and your bff's nicknames for each other are both characters from the book.

Your only curse word is 'D'Arvit' in any form. (ex: d'arvitting, d'arvit, etc.)

You refuse to watch Peter Pan ever again. And if you're forced to, you spend the whole time making fun of it.

You hang a sign in Gnommish that allows fairies to come in to your home. (Until you read TTP, in which case you promptly take it down.)

You see a heat haze and you wonder who's following you, or who they're following.

You disagree with mining.

You jump at the chance to move to/visit Ireland.

You've actually tried the Ritual.

You're obsessed with the moon now.

Your next school research-an-animal-project is silky sifaka lemurs.

When you see a picture of a silky sifaka lemur, you scream "JAYJAY!!"

Someone mentions the name Holly or Artemis, you scream "Where?" and start looking for them excitedly.

The word 'impishly' makes you think of No1.

You click your neck for no reason.

Suddenly, being short isn't so bad.

You've tried to fly.

Someone mentions centaurs, and you smirk and think of computers.

You really don't think that we're that advanced in technology.

Someone mentions some cool new weapon and you instantly start comparing it to a Neutrino.

You talk about humans as if you're not one.

You want to get either mirrored contact lenses or have mirrored lenses in your glasses.

The minute someone says something about the goddess Artemis in Greek mythology, you start giggling uncontrollably.

Everytime you see a sign advertising mulch, you wonder why someone would want to buy a dwarf.

You compare everyone's temper to Root's.

The latest fashion you're starting is foil hats.

In Chicago, you try to figure out which building is the Spiro tower.

It's perfectly acceptable to count down till the next book from the minute you find out the date it's coming out.

Before the next book comes out, you desperately read fanfiction stories for something involving AF.

Every book you read or movie you watch, you start wondering what would happen if some of the AF characters were in it.

You've dreamt about it more often than not.

You search for songs that apply.

You really want to improve your aim.

You try to find a necklace that is a gold coin with a hole in the center.

Someone calls you trouble and you:

slap them because you're a girl.

Say thank you.

Ask them why they called you that when it's not your name.

You can quote page 138 of TTP perfectly. (aka: the kiss.)

And you memorize page numbers of your favorite scenes.

And you randomly pick them up and read them out loud.

Most of your favorite quotes are from AF.

You're a diehard treehugger.

End Notes: Please review!! Let me know if you have any more to add and I'll go a second chapter!


	2. Crazy Girlie Captain

**A/N: Most of these aren't mine. The ones that aren't have the name after it. Thanks to all who contributed! And, thanks for reviewing. :)**

**You know you're obsessed/addicted to AF when. . . .**

Every time you see an oak tree you start looking to see if it's at the bend of  
a river. (Angel-Jade666)

If it is you want to stay there for hours on end to see if you  
can find any fairies. (Angel-Jade666)

You wonder why toy leprechauns/pictures of leprechauns aren't wearing  
jumpsuits (Angel-Jade666)

You also wonder why they don't have little guns. . . .

You automatically spell leprechaun 'LEPrecon.' (Angel-Jade666)

You wear a burgundy TIE and think of 101 ways the  
police can arrest you. (That's from TLC and AH4EVER. Love your username, btw.: ) )

You start giving people vampiric smirks just to  
see them squirm. (tomeofenigmas. Did I spell that right?)

Every time you read stuff about house elves in Harry Potter, you think that  
Holly would be outraged. (XxEviexX)

You think AF trolls would PWN HP trolls. (XxEviexX) (I think PWN means defeat. Yes, sigh, I looked it up.)

You often think about what AF characters would do in a certain situation. (XxEviexX)

Every single romance you see/hear/read reminds you of your favorite  
shipping. (XxEviexX.)

You constantly want to see what your IQ is. (XxEviexX)

You have a whole section of your favorite's on deviantART dedicated to  
Artemis Fowl fanart.(XxEviexX)

You mock Opal Koboi constantly for falling in love w/her truffles. (HikariDawn26)

And you compare every villain to her.

You can't understand something in math class, and get annoyed, because god knows, Artemis would understand it!

Your favorite animal is a silky sifaka lemur.

You ask for a silky sifaka lemur for Christmas or your birthday.

Your parents stop asking what book you're reading and start asking which AF book you're rereading.

Your favorite daydream is of flying.

You dress up as Artemis the goddess for Halloween and end up smirking the whole night.

You've done searches to where Eoin lives so you can go and _convince_ him to write the next book. (convince meaning hands and knees begging.) (HikariDawn26)

You plan on naming your kids one or more of the following names: Holly, Artemis/Diana, Julius, Juliet, Eoin, Domovoi, Angeline, Minerva/Athena, Opal, Mulch, Trouble, Grub, Chix, Myles, Beckett, Coral, Foaly, Caballine, Descant, Mervall, No1, Qwan, Qweffor, N'Zall, Jon, Arno, Pex, Chips, Ark, Doodah, Bobo, Briar.

You've noticed that Artemis is named after the goddess of the moon, and you realize the incredible similarity because he's bffs with a fairy, who needs the moon for magic.

Instead of writing in your journal about school, homework, and anything real, your write about AF. And fairies.

Any and all usernames involve names from AF.

You find an acorn and keep it.

Then you put it on display in your room.

Your new favorite song is "You've lost that loving feeling." (It's by the righteous brothers I think. I don't know! Type it in youtube!)

You can read and write Gnommish/Centaurian, you've cracked the code at the bottom of the books, and you brag about it. (purplegirl-af)

You keep all the books by your bed. (stefanlover12)

You test people to see if they tease you. (stefanlover12)

You write letters/notes to your friends in Gnommish, and expect them to understand/learn it. (Meepits Rule)

End NOtes: PLEASE review!! :) Thanks to all who gave me these ideas.


	3. Aurum Est Potestas

You know you're obsessed with Artemis Fowl when. . . .

You gave your art teacher a half hour lecture about the  
innacuracies of the farie that you were told to draw, Thumbalina-sized, with  
butterfly wings, and clad in a ragged dress. (punkartgur113) (That definitely sounds like something I would do.)

You constantly compare your teachers to Artemis Fowl. (punkartgur113)

You tell everyone that you are engaged to Artemis Fowl, and when they doubt  
it, you show them your hand with the ring although, most people say they  
can't see the ring. (punkartgur113. Am I spelling that right??)

You get into an hour long argument with your friend who hasn't read the series and believes in fairies like Tinkerbell. shudders. (I swear to god I did this one day.)

Most of the argument goes something like:

Me: Holly

Her: Tink

Me: HOLLY!

Her: TINK!!

You think your friend is crazy for not finishing the first one and refusing to read it.

You spend an hour on the internet trying to find news about either Eoin Colfer or AF the movie or the rest of the book series.

When you see AF in the book store, you smirk and run your hand past it.

You've forced- I mean convinced- your parents to read it, then don't understand when they're not as excited as you for the next book.

While your parents are reading them, you constantly ask them what part they're on and giggle/groan/say "oooooh" when they tell you.

Then when they stop telling you, you read over their shoulder.

The word fairies is said at least five times a day when you're around.

You've convinced almost everyone you know to read the series.

You write to Disney and in the letter is a long lecture on a proper fairy.

You connect anything and everything to AF.

At least half of your conversations- especially with your bff- involve AF.

You come up with fanfiction ideas faster than you can write them.

You do crossovers with EVERYTHING else that you like, including ridiculous ideas.

You see a pale boy with raven black hair and hazel and blue eyes and stare at them open mouthed.

You're walking to school, see an acorn, pick it up, and keep it.

Your friend knows your lock combination because it involves AF, and she guessed it when you hinted at it.

You go to walmart to look for mechanical wings. (HikariDawn26)

You memorize the gnommish language and use that knowledge to translate all the coded massages at the bottom of the artemis fowl books and follow the instructions to become and LEP officer in book 4. (major.trouble.kelp.)

You are constantly comparing yourself to Holly or Artemis, depending on  
your sex. (major.trouble.kelp)

You suddenly go from quiet, nonviolent sweetheart to tough girl with fiery  
temper who wants to join the FBI. (major.trouble.kelp)

You start a Petition for schools to teach a Gnommish Class. (Meepits Rule)

(ONLY APPLIES FOR KIDS UNDER 5TH GRADE) While everyone else is planning to  
dig to China, you try to dig to the Lower Elements. (Meepits Rule)

When looking for a new friend you make sure that they have read AT LEAST  
one of the AF books. (Brightfrost)

You compare everyone to Holly. (Brightfrost)

When standing on an island your wonder if it's a kraken. (Brightfrost.)

You wonder if Foaly is hacking onto your laptop. (Brightfrost)

You see the elves on the Lord Of The Rings and just laugh. (Brightfrost)

People ask you who you have a crush on and tell them one of the characters from the book. Then when people don't know who they are, you look at them like they've just said they don't know who some famous celebrity is.

You wear contacts that are hazel and blue, or you wear  
purple glasses. (AH4EVER)

You love to write Artemis Fowl fan fiction, even when you wake up at one in  
the morning. (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic.)

You survey people to see who they're most like. (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic.)

You test your teachers on Gnommish literacy. (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic.)

You have finally taught yourself to speak Gnommish. (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic.)

You criticize books and movies inaccurately depicting magical creatures. (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic.)

You look through ALL of the Artemis Fowl fanfics on FanFiction, even the  
crappy Opal/Arty shippings. (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic.)

You're watching a sad movie in class that you'd really rather not see, so you spend both classes doodling in Gnommish and daydreaming about AF. (I swear that I did that. Well, I did listen, but I didn't watch, especially when there were these hyperventilating people who were trying to talk while crying. That movie gave me nightmares, and I didn't pay full attention. If you want, you can ask me what the movie was about in a review.)

For Halloween you are always dressed in a green LEP suit. (Ylloh Trohs) (Or Artemis the goddess.)

You ask the nearest Halloween store if they have a LEP costume in stock. (HikariDawn26)

You make up random (and sometimes really weird) couples on a regular basis. (HikariDawn26) (Has anyone ever heard of an Opal/Ark Sool shipper??)

Your avatar for youtube AND fanfiction BOTH involve AF. (HikariDawn)

Instead of wanting a gun, you want a Neutrino. (Note: I don't want either. Guns of any form suck.)

You feel that AF has made you just a LITTLE bit crazy. (HikariDawn26) (Little is an understatement.)

Your Art teacher's name is Holly, AND to top it all off, her last name starts with an S. When you find this out, you smirk for at least five minutes. Or giggle. (True story, I swear it!!)

You officially change your name to Holly. (if you're a girl.) Or some other character in the book.

End Notes: Thanks for all who contributed. If you have anymore, just know that I'm stopping at chapter five, unless you stop reviewing. PLEASE don't stop reviewing!! Pweaz??


	4. Pluck though the magick seed

**A/N: Thanks for the support and suggestions. Again, one more chapter and I'll be through with this story. Any more suggestions should be put in a review for this chapter. If I get too many reviews for the fifth chapter w/suggestions, then I'll put those on. But, for now, thanks for reading, and please review! : ) I want to know that I'm not the only one that most of this applies to. . .Not that it does. HikariDawn26, don't you dare even say it in a review!**

**You know you're obsessed with Artemis Fowl when. . .**

At your mid-autumn festival, you play Artemis and Butler on stakeout for  
trees near your eco-garden pond and check for faries. (Alaythea-Mo0nl1ghtRes0nance)

When the short kid wears a dark green jumpsuit, you hyperventilate and  
scream, "LEPrecon!" (Alaythea-Mo0nl1ghtRes0nance)

You scream "COSPLAYER ALERT!" when you see boys with blue eyes and dark hair  
in tailored suits. (Alaythea-Mo0nl1ghtRes0nance)

If you dont sleep for a week straight...you seen all the LEPrecon squads storming your room, and u see holly short and artemis talking infront of you...(TheWingsOfTheGods)

When you're reading this silently and laugh, and your 5th grade sister asks,  
"what's so funny?" and you read it to her, laughing, she doesn't get it. (FantasyFan-WriterGirl)

When you see the books at the bookstore/library, and they aren't in the  
proper order, you put them back correctly, shaking your head that people don't  
know the order they go in. (FantasyFan-WriterGirl)

You have a copy of the artemis fowl files, and you ignore Question 1 (are you  
over three feet tall) because, if yes, you are human "through and through. (FantasyFan-WriterGirl) (You know, I really don't get something in that quiz. Trolls are over three feet tall, right? So, if you answer over three feet tall, then you could be either a troll or a human. Which, that option isn't very good either, but still! That doesn't make any sense. Has anyone else noticed that? Or am I really that obsessed? On second thought, don't answer that.)

You read all of the funny parts of the book to your twin brother, and he gets  
them, but when you read them to your best friend, she asks if you're sick, and  
then says, "oh, wait! that's normal for you, Holly." Like you have some  
terrible, fatal illness. (FantasyFan-WriterGirl)

You don't trust anyone who wears dank-tinted glasses, just in case their pupils are ragged underneath. (punkartgurl13)

When you did badly on a test, you claimed that an invisible fairy in the  
classroom mesmerized you into writing the wrong answers. (punkartgurl13)

You make sure that all emails are witty, and have impeccable grammar just in  
case Artemis is hacking your computer. (punkartgurl13)

You try not to say things that are stupid or crude, just in case there is a  
shielded fairy in the room. And something so as far as to say things like,  
"okay, please get out of my room, fairy. I know you're here!" when it appears  
that you are in an empty room. (punkartgurl13)

You've introduced yourself as Holly (or another character, even though that's not your name) at least once. (ht4eva) (looks guilty)

You go suicidal when you're favorite author stops writing in mid-story. (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic)

You audition for a part in the AF movie. (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic)

You attempt to perform the mesmer on your teacher so you don't need to take a  
test. (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic)

You try to prove Julius Root is alive. (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic)

You buy all AF books and materials related to the subject. (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic)

You object to the notion that Halle Berry could be Holly Short! (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic) (Wait, WHAT?? Is that true?? PLEASE tell me it's not.)

You question the fact that the actor which might play Artemis Fowl is  
blonde! (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic) (Again. That had BETTER not be true. Arty has raven black hair! How stupid can these people get?)

You submit more than six quotes for an 'You know you're obsessed with AF  
when...' topic! (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic)

You visit Taipei 101 to see that giant metal ball... shiny... (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic)

You believe you have magic healing powers when you pick up a bird that just  
hit your door and it wakes up moments later in your hands. (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic)

You begin a petition for an Artemis Fowl play at your school. (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic)

You begin to play Irish folk songs you believe Artemis Fowl would enjoy  
during band. (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic)

You read 'Lord of the Flies' to see why Artemis likes it. (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic)

You have drawn enough AF/HS pics to make a YouTube video on their  
romanceness. (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic) (Or you're like me and want to draw AFHS pics, but can't draw worth crap.)

You continue to read AF fanfiction until 11:00 PM. (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic)

You create MySpace's for AF characters. (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic)

You finally create the Gnommish computer font. (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic)

You become obsessed with Holly Short, but then go suicidal and expect for  
some unseen force to stop you from killing yourself. (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic)

You try to make an Iris-cam. (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic) (I'd like to see that. . .)

You try to scale walls like Mulch Diggums. (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic)

You notice you have so many quotes that it could take up a whole computer  
screen when they're published. (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic)

And you don't care. (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic)

You watch a movie on suicide and wish the suicidal was Briar Cudgeon. I  
wonder if he is suicidal... (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic)

You slap yourself for thinking that Eoin Colfer would stop writing Artemis  
Fowl books before he dies. (artemis.fowl.the.fanatic)

The Bible says "all creatures in the havens, on the earth, and under the ground," and you flip out by screaming "IT'S REAL!!"

You see the book _The Way of all Flesh by Butler,_ and immediately question why Colfer didn't tell us that Butler wrote a book.

You're reading one of the Eragon books, and every time you even see the word elf or dwarf, you smirk.

You think it's really funny that there are two books that a human falls in love with an elf. . . .(refferring to how Eragon falls in love with Arya and Artemis falls in love with Holly. It's more of a coinshipper thing. . .)

At the Renaissance fair, the only suvineer you got were fake elf ears. You wore them the whole day. .. (Another true story. . .)

You just smile when you watch any other movie with "Science fiction guns" and  
think that a Neutrino is so much better. (Brightfrost)

You look at people walking though Artic and wonder why there not wearing the  
rad suits with heating coils. (Brightfrost)

You comment on the Lucky Charms commercials and laugh at Lucky..(FireLadyM) (Again, looks guitly)

When your friend doesn't understand the laser guns in star wars, you say "Just pretend they're like crappy human versions of Neutrinos" and she says "oooooooh."

**End Notes: Sorry for any repeats. I don't exactly keep track of what's been used. Thanks for reading! Don't forget to review! Please!**


	5. Truffles

**A/N**: Firstly, I'm sorry for not updating sooner! If you read my author's note in Greek Gods and Fairies, that will tell you why I haven't really done anything except for the occasional one-shot. I'm trying, but I'm taking all CP courses and. . .can you spell homework? Anyway, I'm really sorry! I decided I'd be kind and do SOME updating. : ) Since my Thanksgiving break has officially started. Well, excluding the amount of homework we have. . . .Literally, we have to do a whole CHAPTER of science notes and homework. *shudders.* I'll get on with it.

**This will not be the last chapter.** Now instead of wanting "you know you're obsessed when. . ." I want any story you have. I've been getting a lot of stories about what has happened that's related to Artemis Fowl. Heck, I have one or two of my own. If you have a story that relates to AF, and how much you're obsessed with it, please let me know! In a review! That's what the next chapter is going to be, k? I got the idea from the people who have sent stories. Some of them are really, really hilarious in a good way!

**Disclaimer:** You all should know by now that I don't own AF. I'm just writing down signs that you're obsessed with it. Do I even need a disclaimer for that?

Last chapter I said:

You think it's really funny that there are two books that a human falls in love with an elf. . . .(referring to how Eragon falls in love with Arya and Artemis falls in love with Holly. It's more of a coinshipper thing. . .)

In a review, XxEviexX pointed out that in LotR, there's ANOTHER elf/human pairing. Aragorn and Arwen. I have seen LotR, so there's no reason for me to have forgotten that. *slaps self.* So, I apologize for forgetting about them! If there are any other elf/human couplings that I missed, please tell me!!!

Now, here's the actual story!!!

**You know you're obsessed with Artemis Fowl when. . .**

You read the first book and just laugh.

You have to take a typing class, where the program uses random sentences, and you have to type the word Opal (as a name) and you purposefully screw up when typing it. And also you scowl when you come to it.

You're watching Fringe, and when they're talking about trying to see the last image someone saw, you say (out loud) "Just use a Retimager!" And then you remember that this is humans, not fairies.

You start massaging the tips of your ears, especially after wearing a hat or in the cold.

You read a chapter of this story while smiling and nodding your head to everything. (krazypuppy8)

You check every day for new Fan fics and wonder if a good one you read is by Eoin Colfer. (Blairoutloud1428)

Than you print it out and brag to your friends that you have a sneak peek into the next AF book. (Blairoutloud1428)

People you don't even know know your name because you have told everybody that Haven and fairies are real and people have tried to take you to the mental asylum. (Blairoutloud1428)

Once there you ask which room is Opal's. (Blairoutloud1428)

While everybody is starting Twilight families on YouTube, you start an AF one.

You try to ignore calculators and do mental math more quickly, just to prove  
to yourself that you are good enough for Arty. (XxEviexX)

You are constantly thinking of the character's reactions to songs you like. (XxEviexX)

(For A/H shippers) You closed the book and squealed at the top of your lungs  
the first time you read the kiss in TTP... and you've reread that part a  
million times. (XxEviexX) (It must be more than a million by now.. . .I've actually memorized it. . .)

When buying TTP, you started reading it in line at the counter.

You imagine yourself as one of the characters anytime you're alone... and  
sometimes when you're not. (XxEviexX)

You find out you can touch your tongue to the tip of your nose and you start screaming "I'M PART FAIRY! I'M PART FAIRY!" (ht4eva)

When you find out that no one in your family is a fairy, you try to say that you were adopted. (ht4eva)

When your parents prove to you that you're NOT adopted, you say that you were a fairy with HGH implanted in your skull and switched for the REAL child in the hospital! (And seriously, I actually tried to prove that. I failed miserably). (ht4eva)

When you mess up in Chinese class, you tell your teacher that you were mesmerized into messing up! (ht4eva)

When you don't get your homework done, you say that Jayjay the lemur ate your  
homework. (ht4eva) (Well that's an interesting excuse. . .)

You fall into depression when you can't instantly pick up on everything in language arts, because you're PART FAIRY! You shouldn't have any trouble with it! (ht4eva)

You think you're a clone of Holly. When people point out that you don't have auburn hair, you say that it was a genetic anomaly. (ht4eva)

You won't ride in cars so that you won't pollute the environment. And when your  
family goes on vacation using a car, you freak out and say that you'll walk.  
And when they point out that it's a five hour drive, you say you'll bring a  
tent. (ht4eva)

You have a sign on the door, saying "Stay back human, you don't know what your dealing with!" When people look at you weird after they see it, you can't understand what's wrong with the silly morons! Did they actually think you were HUMAN?!?! (ht4eva)

You yell at the computer when you see that most of the pictures on google of  
Artemis are Japanese when he's Irish. (Toma-Chan24) (That's SO annoying! Especially when it doesn't have any translations.)

You hold a funeral for Julius Root. What a small coffin... (.)

You attempt or have attempted at least once to create a Neutrino. (.)

You dig an acorn in the ground at a bend in a river and see what happens. (.)

You pray to Frond every night. (.)

You criticize the 'Galaxy Quest' weapons about how they look like Neutrinos.  
And Softnoses. (.)

You end up contributing to every chapter to a 'You know you're obsessed with  
AF when...' story. (.)

Every time someone says the word trouble, you jump a foot and scream  
"TROUBLE FOREVER!" When they looks at you like you're crazy, you scream it  
louder. (ht4eva)

When Commander Root died, you went to your bathroom, sat in the sink, and  
cried for two solid hours. (ht4eva) (Okay, I didn't cry that long, but I did cry. I almost cried in TTP, but I was at the pool. . . .)

When Holly got stabbed, you threw the book across the room and cried for  
half an hour and cursed Artemis with everything you had in you, before opening  
the book and finding that she wasn't dead for good. (ht4eva) (*winces.* Yeah, uh funny story about that one. For now, let's just say that I read that at school . ..)

You try to prove that Holly doesn't like Arty romantically. Even after the  
kiss. That one is only for H/T shippers. (ht4eva)

You've changed your career choice from writer/scuba diving to rescue  
pilot/Fire fighter/soldier/Something with science if you like Artemis more  
then Holly. (ht4eva)

When you have to write a paper on yourself for French class, you write it  
on your obsession with Artemis Fowl. (ht4eva)

When your French teacher gives you an F on it, you protest that she's just  
mad at you because you said that 'when you're not in French class, you can be  
found on the Artemis Fowl fanfiction net' and she takes it as an insult. (ht4eva)

When she sends you to the principals office, you say that Artemis MADE you  
do it! (ht4eva)

Compare yourself to Holly and co. and see if u would be able to do exactly what they do in their adventures. (AH4EVER)

You have noticed the way Colfer writes the books it seems as if Holly is  
normal human size. (AH4EVER) (hmmm.. . . . . .)

You forget something and you yell out, "I've been mindwiped." (affan13)

**End Notes:** In case you're wondering why your ideas are word for word, that is because I copy and paste from my email to the story. Some of them are too good too change. Like that part about your parents adopting you. : ) Please, please, please review and send me your AF stories. I'll tell you some of mine. Some-okay, at least one- are a bit embarrassing.

If you want to see some good HA videos on YouTube go to /user/HollyMarieFowl. Under my playlists and in my favorites there are some really good AF videos. And some twilight ones, if you're interested.

**HT SHIPPERS PLEASE READ THIS**: If you have read the Host by Stephenie Meyer and you are an HT shipper (and possibly an AM or AJ shipper), please contact me if you want a story idea. I have an idea about a Host/AF crossover, but it has to be an HT, AM, or AJ. The only thing is, I can't write one of those. Or at least, I could try, but I would fail miserably. Anyway, please just contact me!


	6. Fin

**A/N: ***looks really really shocked* How did I get 92 reviews? Wow, you guys are great! Keep it up! Thank you! (That's probably the most I've ever gotten!) Thank you guys for submitting your ideas and your stories! *sniffles* This-sob-is the-sob-last-sob-chapter! Unless I get loads of more stories. *prays for more.* Okay, so here's the thing. I'm STILL getting "you know you're obsessed" things, so, I'm going to add those on after all the story.

Do I really have no HT shippers who have read the host and want a story idea? : (

Oh well. You don't know what you're missing. . . .

**Disclaimer:** don't own it. *sob*

**bubbles (I'm responding here b/c I can't reply to the anonymous reviews): **I have to admit that I agree with your best friend. I would be screaming ARTEMIS too. : ) Anyway, thank you for reviewing! I wish you would log in or register, though. . . *makes pouty face*

**To nutellalover: **I love nutella!

**To all anonymous reviewer: **Thanks for the compliments, and for reviewing. To those who don't have an account yet, get one! Please! Let me tell you something. I like responding to my reviews, I really do. But I can't do that when you review anonymously!

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ (LINE)

**From bubbles (anonymous reviewer):**

I am a diehard H/T shipper, and my best friend supports A/H. Therefore, whenever we sit down at the same table an all-out shipping war ensues. So we were going back and forth about the kiss and other whatnot, and she pulls a colored piece of cardboard with a picture of the kiss on it out of her bag. She waves it in my face, and screams "TRUMP CARD!" I then promptly reply, "Allow me to hole-punch that for you."  
Another time, we abandoned debate and started screaming the names of the  
people who we thought were meant for Holly at each other across the table. It  
went something like this:  
"TROUBLE!"  
"ARTEMIS!"  
"TROUBLE!"  
"ARTEMIS!"  
At which point my other best friend gets tired of us, and screams "MULCH!"

**From The Creatress:**

"Our neighbours' family name starts with an F and the woman's name is Holly. I smirked for five minutes, giggled for ten and started to call her "Mrs. Holly F."

**From Sovrani:**

"Everytime I think of the kiss I have a squealing fit. Or I freak out  
mid-sentence if I'm talking about something else.

"I have an oak tree in my front yard. When it starts dropping acorns I go  
out and collect them."

**From me:**

When I was reading TLC, and I got to the part where Holly was stabbed, I was lucky enough to be at school. On the bus. In the morning. Holly is naturally my favorite character, except for Jayjay. So, I was crying. Hard. My friend Rebecca was trying to calm me down while we waited to go to class. She didn't even know who Holly was, having not read AF.

"It's just a book!" she said. Anyway, I refused to read anything more from TLC because I knew that I would probably just cry again. I was depressed all day. When I got on the bus ride home, I said, "Can we read? I really need to find out what happens." My best friend who sits next to me agreeed and started reading her book, while I read TLC. A few seconds later I cracked up laughing.

"What's so funny?" she asked. I was laughing too hard to talk. Finally, when I had stopped laughing so hard at myself, I said

"Holly's-not-dead!" And I continued laughing at myself, but this time, she started laughing with me. The other kids on the bus must have thought we were crazy.

When I got home, I called Rebecca- the one who was comforting me in the morning- and said to her, "I am such an idiot."

"Why?"

"Remember why I was crying this morning?"

"Yes."

"She's not dead." We both started laughing. Again. So, now, Rebecca and Alice both bring it up on a semi-regular basis, and I call myself an idiot for crying at school at someone who's not ACTUALLY dead.

**From TerraMarkov26 and me:**

Our reactions on page 138 of TTP (the kiss.) I'm going to call TerraMarkov26 Alice, okay? (That's her nickname. Twilight fans can guess why.)

Well, I was at MY GRANPARENT'S house when I got to page 138! My parents weren't there, luckily, and my grandparents hadn't even heard of the series before. I am a huge coinshipper, if that isn't obvious by my name. Anyway, if I would have been anywhere else, I would have screamed, jumped up and down screaming "YES YES YES!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Of course, since I was at my grandparents house, and they already think I'm kind of crazy, I tried not to do anything. It was really hard. I was giggling and really happy for quite a while.

Alice- on the other hand- was in the car with her parents. Her brother was just reading the FIRST BOOK. She screamed. Then her dad said "What are you screaming at?" (Or something like that.) And she said "I can't tell you."

**From Lillythemarshmellowqueen:**

"The minute someone says something about the goddess Artemis in Greek mythology, you start giggling uncontrollably." I actually seriously did that in class once and ended up on the ground because of laughing too hard. My history teacher was not impressed... but then again she had asked us to look at a picture of a greek goddess...

**From j-kelp:**

On the first day of school this year, some kid got dropped off in this giant SUV with blacked-out windows driven by a bald guy. When I looked at the kid, he had black hair, pale skin, ice blue eyes, and was wearing a suit! I freaked out and screamed "Artemis alert! Artemis alert!" to my friend, who told me to go to the clinic. Then I, being incredibly nosy, went over to talk to him, and  
he's literally a genius! But the creepiest part, his initials are AF. (Aaron something, I believe.) Last week he and I were arguing about whether or not grand-daddy longlegs were arachnids or not, and I accidentally called him Artemis! He just smirked and walked away.

**A/N:** Okay, that's really weird. . .Do you think that Artemis changed his name?

Here's the you know you're obsessed ones.

**You know you're obsessed with Artemis Fowl when. . .**

'You read a fanfiction that has only "H/A" in the summary and nothing else  
because you think it's Holly/Arty but it's actually a rather scary slash  
pairing that is against all laws of nature...(Adam/Hiro for those Heroes  
fangirls..)' (The Famous Fire Lady M)

You have a picture of every Artemis Fowl character on a wall. (TeamJasper24)

You have every version of Artemis Fowl ever made. (TeamJasper24)

You have sent thousands of letters to Eoin Colfer asking about the next  
book. (TeamJasper24) (Hmm. Good idea! I should try that! *everyone runs.*)

You're doing Plate Tectonics and the layers of the Earth chapter in Science, and you constantly think (and complain to your friends) that the science book is wrong! They keep forgetting about Haven!

You're doing a model of the layers of the earth and put a little sign on the layer that has Haven City saying "And this is where the fairies live!" Hehe. :D

On the plate tectonics/layers of the earth test, your teacher asks you to describe the layers of the earth, and you put "It's where the fairies live."

Then she fails you on that question, and you start up an hour long argument on whether or not it's right, and you get detention from the results of the argument.

**End Notes:** No offense, but I really don't want anything else about Gnommish. Okay, I keep telling myself (and you) that the next chapter will be the last chapter. Honestly, I'm only continuing because you guys keep giving me ideas! I am now taking things that have happened to you, and "you know you're obsessed with" ideas. If it's too personal either don't send it, or tell me not to publish it. Or you could tell me to publish it anonymously. Thanks again guys for staying with me! Review, please!


	7. Talk to the Animals

**A/N**: Sorry it took so long to put up. I get. . . .distracted. Let's put it that way. The people who read my other stories know what I mean. Hinthint. Anywho, here's the next chapter that I hope is as hilarious as the first. . 6. Thanks to all who contributed! It wouldn't be possible without you! Remember, I update as long as you review. So, please review. Thank you guys for letting me break 100 on at least one of my stories!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!

Authoress:*hands all reviewers a magic, invisible cookie*

Someone random: Gasp! The cookie can shield! O.o

Authoress: Gasp! You're right!!!!!!!

**Disclaimer:** Do I even need one? I'm not manipulating the characters in any way, shape or form. . .

**To anonymous natilezada: **HOW DID YOU GET HIS NUMBER????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**From Me**:

We took our science final today, and it was 150 questions!!! But it was very easy, so no sweat. Anyway, at my favorite number, 138 (if you'll remember, coinshippers, this is the page that Holly kissed Arty), I almost started laughing my head off. It might have been the stress, but I think it was irony. You see, that question was on a picture part of the test where you had to identify moon phases. The answer to 138 was "full moon." Can you say irony???! It was soooo hard not to laugh in the middle of the classroom.

**Another one from Me:**

Alright, I had just done my book report on the 6th Artemis Fowl book. I did a test thingy. Anway, I mentioned some. . .Spoilers, shall we call them? Well, then we took a vocabulary test. One of the words was "burly." We have to write sentences. So, I just had to mention Butler in my sentence for that. Well, I got it back today and it said next to that sentence "yes, he is. : )"

I asked my teacher if she had read Artemis Fowl. She said she read the first book! And maybe the second, but didn't remember much except for little things like that. My first thought was _Oh, crap_. Because she HAD READ THE SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHH!!!!

**From Natilezada:**

"I went through this like a check list! only i don't take french and at the renisance fair i bought, yes, and neckless w/ a gold coin that has a hole in it!"

(She says that every idea she donated happened to her, too. ~hmf random comment)

"Actually, I sleep with the books in my bed! LOL and I did dress up as Artemis the goddess for Halloween and ended up smirking the entire night! I write in my diary in Gnomish."

And my personal favorite:

"I accidently ran my bike over my best friend's little sister's sandcastles and she started yelling so i was all like 'Hey, Don't pull a Root, i'll fix it.' and my friend, afellow af reader laughed so hard we had to get her water."

**From ArtemisFowllvr1124**:

"So my friend and I are supremely obsessed with AF so that is literaly all we talk about on MSN; it is also the main topic of our emails. Anyway, at some point in time we had to stop talking about fairies and Artemis Fowl and such like because we were convinced that Foaly had tracked us down and sent some LEPrecon elves to spy on us to see if we were a threat."

(LOL ~hmf random comment)

**From Taoshira:**

When I read page 138 of TTP (the kiss) I was away at a residential visit in Yorkshire with my school, while we were in our dorm. I screamed and chucked the book up in the air, yelling words I didn't know existed. Unfortunately my best friend, who was on the bunk below me, got hit by the book (oopsies).

**You know you're obsessed with Artemis Fowl when. . .**

You stick quotes from the book all over your locker door. When people read them and don't get them, you have to explain...(theSunlitEarth)

You also stick them all over your room so you can read them and laugh when you're bored. (theSunlitEarth)

You're talking about lollipops at bus dismissal and the only thing you can think is "I don't like lollipops."

You think the pictures on are so inaccurate you have a screaming fit. (natilezada. Anonymous)

You have a file on itunes call H/A's songs. (natilezada. Anonymous)

Your friend doesn't come to your house between 4-6 because thats your 'plotting sesion' where you really try to do things like figure out what will happen in your book. (natilezada. Anonymous)

In the school library, you check out all the af books for weeks at a time to read only at school because you don't want to get your precious af books [ the ones u own] dirty. (natilezada. Anonymous.)

You have a mental fit when you realize the public library does not have the AF Files OR the Time Paradox and buy them 2 copie of each 'for the good of the public.' (natilezada. Anonymous)

When you go to sleep, your favorite lulaby is that 'riverbend song' foaly likes

When upset you calm yourself by repeating the scene where a and h kiss. your family doesn't think thats weird anymore. (natilezada. Anonymous) (OMG!!! That's totally me!!! And if somethings about to make me cry, or if I have a huge test!!! O.o)

Eoin colfer is on your speed dial, even though he doesn't answer to your number any more. This actually happened to me. He changed his number because of me. (Natilezada. Anonymous)

You go through this like a checklist. (Natilezada gave me the idea when she said she went through this like a checklist.)

You know your obsessed with Artemis Fowl when you constantly think that fairies are following you an watching your every move. (*Looks over shoulder*) (ArtemisFowllvr1124)

Go up to random people to ask what they thought about the 'Holly-dying-scene' in TLC. (Taoshira)

Persist in reading extracts to your foolishly uninterested friends, even if they have threatened you with death. (Taoshira)

Scream at a random short, red-faced man with a moustache, "WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE, ROOT? WHY?" (Taoshira)

End Notes: Okay, I think that's it. Thanks for reading! Thanks to those who review! *glares at those who don't to get them to review*

~HMF


	8. Totally Obsessed

**A/N:** I'm such an idiot!!! I forgot some people's stories!!! *gets someone to hit me over the head with a crowbar, sues them afterword* Um, if I forget to put your story on here, that doesn't mean it's not good. It just means that I forgot. It doesn't help when I have a MIGRAINE. Sorry. Also sorry for taking soooooo long to update. This is a really long chapter, so I hope you like it!

Btw, see if you can guess where the titles of the chapters come from. Totally Obsessed is a chapter title of 1 of the books. Which one? :D

**To that anonymous reviewer, Prudy:** TTP is the last AF book. The time paradox. We abreeviate things heavily on :

TLC= The Lost Colony

TOD= The Opal Deception

TEC= The Eternity Code

TAI (hardly used)= The Arctic incident

**Disclaimer:** Are you stupid enough to think that I own this???!!!

**From FlyingToastersUnite:**

I recently almost punched my friend [no names mentioned] for telling me (after I addmitedly blabbed about everyone and everything in the AF serries on a 7 hour trip to Pisa, Italy,) that she 'really personally didn't give a crap if Opal Koboi marries Artemis and Holly killed Butler, Sool poured coffee all over Foaly and the Lower Elements was attacked by a million robots will power drills.' she just wanted me to shut up. {I blabbed enough I think I spoiled the entire serries to sarah and my friend knew the names of every character.}

-------------------

Here's a story for ya'll (takes a giant book of her bookself labeled FUNNY STORIES RELATED TO ARTEMIS FOWL and flips to page 9877). Well, the Time Paradox had just came out and naturally, my Amazon copy STILL hadn't arrived. I was really **. Then, at recess i saw that this boy in my science class, Chris, had a copy and was reading it. I was with my friends and one of them, sarah, was mad at Chris so we concocted a plan. She and four of my friends pinched, chased and scared Chris, and he ran. Fast. Setting his book down on the table. So I read the first four chapters before he became really **.

**From spademan8290:**

Okay, the other day I gave my iPod shuffle to my mom because i had gotten a nano. Well, my mom said she'll buy me a Xbox game for it so i say 'sure.' Once we get to the store I see Artemis Fowl and the Time Paradox and start hyperventalating. I start reading it right there and the store and cracking up on the "eager to please their deranged brother." part. People stared. Okay so instead of getting the game 'Which was, by the way, Left for Dead, I got Artemis Fowl TTP. Luckly it was a week end and I read in for (I forget) seven or eight hours. Actually I lost track of time, but i finnished it before midnight so I reread it. Twice. Okay, four times. I had dreams about it and A/H for a week straight, i am not lying.

(A/N: I lost track of how many times I've read TTP when I got to 7.. . . .Or was it 5? Idk.)

Okay, another story. I was at a dress up thing for the Percy Jackson series (I am a die hard fan for those books as well) and there was a cute girl dressed as a goddess. So I start talking to her and ask her who she's supposed to be and she says "I'm Artemis."

I laughed for five minutes straight but thankfully she didn't think I was weird because she read AF too and thought I was right to laugh.

(A/N: I love that series!!! PJO rules!!!)

**From bubbles:**

When I got the Time Paradox at summer camp during rest period, I started speed-reading. I got to page 138 in less than an hour. I was looking for any H/T that the book might contain. Needless to say, I was disappointed.

Anyway, it was absolutely silent in the cabin. Everyone was either writing letters or sleeping. Suddenly, there was a "NO!" and I threw the book across the cabin and started sobbing. My friend was like "Did somebody die?" I just said, "Yeah," since I could hardly say that I woke up the entire cabin just because Holly snogged the wrong person...

(A/N: No offense, but lol. That would be soooo embarrassing. Did you manage to hit someone with it? *looks excited*)

**From FantasyFan-WriterGirl:**

When I was in 5th grade, a whole group of us were TOTALLY obsessed with Artemis Fowl, so we gave each other AF nicknames.

Patrick was moving to Ireland in a couple of months, so he was Artemis.

Stephen was his best friend, and a foot taller than him, so he was Butler.

Addy was, um, big and tall, so she was Juliet.

Ben, for some strange reason, was nicknamed Opal. (probably because his primary aim in life back then was to nuke the world and become supreme dictator for life of Canada, the only country that he would spare.)

And no one could decide who I was. Most of them thought I was Holly, but even back then we knew that she and Artemis were a THING, and they didn't want to imply that me and Patrick liked each other, so... (I wouldn't have cared. I had a crush on him then, and I still do.) And the others said I was Opal.

Oh, and those who said that I was Opal said that Ben was Foaly, because one Opal was bad enough. Now, however, there wouldn't be a problem...

(A/N: That's hilarious. Sounds like my group of friends.)

**From Emerald Griffon:**

Each time I see any couple that vaguely resembles Artemis and Holly, I have to mentally slap myself to remind me that they're not.

(A/N: I do the same. It's worse when I'm with a friend, b/c then I whisper to her "Don't those two look like Holly and Arty?")

**From ht4eva:**

1)I was in school, at lunch, and my friend Cairan, who's also an Artemis Fowl FREAK, said he'd read on the internet that Trouble Kelp dies in the next book. I screamed out loud, and lunged across the table at him, demanding to know where he read it. I seriously started shaking him by the shoulders! I got a slap on the back of the head from my friend Adria, a REALLY weird look from Laura, and a detention from the teacher on lunch duty for my troubles. (grr!) Then I went home and surfed the internet while crying hysterically to find out if it was true. (I HOPE IT ISN'T! O.O!!)

2)When I read the kiss in TTP, I hurled the book across the room and screamed at the top of my lungs. My mum rushed into the room closely followed by my dad and little sisters, asking if there was an earwig! (I HATE earwigs!) I pushed past rudely, and locked myself in the bathroom to cry for about two hours! Needless to say, my mum is extremely concerned about my sanity!!

3) When I was at my grandparents house at thanksgiven, we all took turns saying grace, and everyone was asking for world peace, and love, and an end to poverty, and I stood up and said "Dear Frond, I hope that Trouble and Holly get married, that Artemis falls into the magma core, that I turn into a fairy by tomorrow, and that fanfiction stabs myspace, facebook and anything that isn't Artemis Fowl related! Amen!  
Everyone stared, and my mum threatened to take me to a psychologist!

(comments from hmf: ew and lol. *growls* Sorry I forgot to put that on)

You freak out and scream Artemis Fowl related things in class so much, your(/my) friend Adria has taken to hitting you over the head with her math text book while screeching "Eva! SHUT UP ABOUT FOWL! TAKE A CHILL PILL!" (Btw, don't tell her to follow her own advice, she won't listen. And for FRONDS sake, don't insult the Eragon series! She WILL kill you.)  
You take your sandwiches apart and name the ingredients after AF characters, then eat them slowly while laughing demoniacally.  
You insist on calling your friend Herry, Artemis. Even though he's never read the series. (Don't try it. He WILL tell the teacher.)  
You tried giving mushrooms a second chance, much to your mums' delight. (MushroomsBLARGH!)

For art, you drew a troll in the background of your cityscape, and put a sign saying 'Eat at Spuds' on one of your buildings. Then you refused to erase it, even after a little chat with the principal, your art teacher, and both of your parents. (A/N: I'm gonna take a guess that you did that?)

**From FantasyFan-WriterGirl:**

When I was in 5th grade, a whole group of us were TOTALLY obsessed with Artemis Fowl, so we gave each other AF nicknames. Patrick was moving to Ireland in a couple of months, so he was Artemis.  
Stephen was his best friend, and a foot taller than him, so he was Butler.  
Addy was, um, big and tall, so she was Juliet.  
Ben, for some strange reason, was nicknamed Opal. (probably because his primary aim in life back then was to nuke the world and become supreme dictator for life of Canada, the only country that he would spare.)

And no one could decide who I was. Most of them thought I was Holly, but even back then we knew that she and Artemis were a THING, and they didn't want to imply that me and Patrick liked each other, so... (I wouldn't have cared. I had a crush on him then, and I still do.) And the others said I was Opal.  
Oh, and those who said that I was Opal said that Ben was Foaly, because one Opal was bad enough. Now, however, there wouldn't be a problem.

(comments: Lol. Sorry for forgetting to put this up last chappy. Great story. Here's what I say to the "she and Artemis were a THING" statement: AMEN!!!!!!!!!!)

**From LillytheMarshmellowQueen:**

Talk about the kiss scene? I was in an international 8 hour flight.. and then I read it.. I screamed seriosly I was like "OH MY GOD WHAT THE**BARBEQUESAUCE!!" and everyone in the plane got woken up because it was like 12 or something... seriously I squeeled all the way across the medeteranian...and red sea...

(comment: hehe. :D Sorry I forgot to put it on. . .)

**From The Famous Fire Lady M:**

I know a kid, we'll call him Jim for his sake. He's an obsessive anything-written-by-Eoin Colfer-fanboy. He's short and a brunette and has glasses. He's really pale and he's like the smartest kid I know. xD He got contacts and started to wear more "formal" attire, like nice shirts and slacks and such. I've started calling him Arty. He insists he's a Time Lord. xD (Inside joke. If you get it then, yay. xD)

**From Me:**

Alright, so my friend was over one day, and we had a little too much sugar. We had recently watched Mamma Mia! If you haven't seen it, the dot dot dot thing means. . .Well. . .ahem. How babies are made, let's put it THAT way. Anyway, the line that Holly kisses Arty is

"And because she was happy and flushed with magic, Holly leaned down and kissed Artemis, magic sparking around the contact like tiny fireworks."

So, we rewrote the line:

And because she was happy and flushed with magic. . .DOT DOT DOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We've quoted that randomly ever since. On the bus, near my parents (they're read AF), at Youth Group. . .You name it and we've probably quoted it there. Except church.

Also, on my math homework, there was a scatterplot that we had to do. One of the numbers was 138. I have a really mean teacher, so I'm sure why I was laughing at my math homework.

**You know you're obsessed with Artemis Fowl when. . . .**

You crack up laughing and continue smirking at the "kraken" in Pirates of the Carribbean 2.

You have a dream about a golden retriever named trouble. (True story. Idk how that got there, but the dream has been bugging me ever since.)

You ask permision before entering a building just in case... (spademan8290)

You have tried to find the art museum with 'The Fairy Theif' on display. (spademan8290)

Every time your local art museum gets a new painting you think Artemis had something to do with it. (spademan8290) (Or, in my case, you make it your goal to go to an art museum, b/c there isn't one anywhere near your town.)

Your not emo. Your just trying to see if you can heal yourself with magic. (spademan8290)

You are in tears when you got a cold because you immediatly think that you have Spelltrophy. Bonus points if you start research on the Silky Safika Lemur. (Notahuman) (Lol.)

Whenever somone says the word 'monkey' you emeditly corret them and say 'lemur'. (spademan8290)

You randomly though blue confetti and sequins at people in the hospital in an attempt to heal them. (CyberSoul) (Lol.)

You come up with your own version of Jingle Bells. (*looks guilty*)

You become convinced that the visualizations on Window's Media Player were made by Foaly to mesmerize humans... (theSunlitEarth) (Lol. You're right!!!! *looks around room paranoid*)

You're reading one of the books (for the millionth time) and you get to a funny point and laugh out loud, then everyone wants to know what's so funny, so you read the paragraph to them, and then get confused because none of them are laughing, until one of them says 'i dont get it.' at which point you shake your head and go back to reading.

2 minutes later, the _exact same thing happens_. (MajorSmanthaCarter)

You freak out and scream Artemis Fowl related things in class so much, your friend has taken to hitting you over the head with her math text book while screeching "SHUT UP ABOUT FOWL! TAKE A CHILL PILL!" (ht4eva)

You take your sandwiches apart and name the ingredients after AF characters, then eat them slowly while laughing demoniacally. (ht4eva)

You insist on calling your friend Henry Artemis. Even though he's never read the series. (ht4eva)

You tried giving mushrooms a second chance, much to your mums' delight. (MushroomsBLARGH!) (agreed) (ht4eva)

For art, you drew a troll in the background of your cityscape, and put a sign saying 'Eat at Spuds' on one of your buildings. Then you refused to erase it, even after a little chat with the principal, your art teacher, and both of your parents. (ht4eva) (Well, that's if you have the ability to draw a troll. Or anything, for that matter.)

You randomly throw blue confetti and sequins at people in the hospital in an attempt to heal them. (CyberSoul) (Lol)

You refuse to wear any color other than blue. (Whose is this? I don't think it's mine . . .)

When taking an 150 word test, you look ahead to see what question 138 is, and then try to relate it to AF. (*laughs evilly and looks guilty*)

Whenever you open your mouth your friend holds up her hand and says "If it's about Artemis I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!" (yup, my bff actually does that...) (Sheva Das)

Your favorite conversation starter is, "So. Have you read Artemis Fowl?" (Sheva Das)

Whenever you see the numbers 1, 3, and 8, put together you start smirking. (Sheva Das)

The characters start appearing in your dreams. (Sheva Das)

When you hallucinate, you see fairies. (Sheva Das)

You start wondering what it would be like if Artemis came to your school. (Sheva Das) (*looks really, _really _guilty*)

You own more than one copy of each book. (Sheva Das)

During the summer you read TLC almost every day. (True story. I had large chunks of the book memorized by the time school started...) (Sheva Das) (That's me with TTP.)

Your favorite time of day is 1:38 P.M. or A.M.

**End Notes:** I THINK that's it for this chapter. Correct me if I'm wrong. . . .And guess what book the chapter title is from. . .Hehe.

~HMF


End file.
